Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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