literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
So. Much. Porn.
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