there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
