she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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