Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
