She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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