She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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