Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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