You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
