Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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