if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
