So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think my mom watched the whole time
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
