I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
