the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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