I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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