She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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