Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
