I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
