It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize