Just cropdusted the office
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize