if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
