OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
