You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
