just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
