clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
