he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
