mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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