My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
