3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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