Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
