woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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