it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She told me I should be a condom model.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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