I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
