haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
