Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
