Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
