she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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