it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize