Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
