I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
