guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
