home. puking in laundry basket.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
