before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
