Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
