And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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