i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
