Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I have demons in me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Never underestimate the power of titties
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
