he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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