I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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