At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
