I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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