I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
