She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
