we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
