I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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