She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
