Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
