WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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