I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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