he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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