Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I want to be your penis for a week.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
